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I've been receiving thousands of emails from fans wondering what my opinion of this past Oscars is. The only thing gayer than this year's Oscars is the picture waiting for you after the jump...
I told you.
There are lots of reasons to click this link.
Probably the best of which is the hope of learning from the horrible, horrible mistakes of the 80's. Like the unfortunate demise of this legendary band, Great Apes:
Old Mayor (Richard J. Daley) Daley's widow lives down the street from my Grandma in Bridgeport. There is a squad that sits outside of her house 24hrs. a day. Widow Daley, that is... So she's covered.
Meanwhile Young (Richard M. Daley) Daley just got "relected".
People dig Daley because he's perceived as a man for the people, and as such, he takes no shit. He may run the city behind closed doors sometimes, but hey, it's Chicago.
Like it's website, Lost totally sucks now. Good job, ABC.
I first sensed something was wrong when they rolled out the old, "The Writers and Producers Talk About the Show" episode after the midseason hump. Imagine my fury when I thought I was going to see a new episode, but what I'm actually presented with is a couple of idiots introducing past clips, and attempting to validate fisty characters. Nice egos, dicks.
Here's a tip: stop worrying that idiot viewers are getting "lost" in the "plot", and start worrying about writing something cool. Did you guys loose a bet or something?
My beautiful girlfriend loves to flip on NY1 as soon as she wakes up every morning, as most New Yorkers do. Like an tinfoil bowl, NY1's production is functional, not flashy. One of it's oddest segments, however, may be it's most endearing. Of course I'm speaking of Pat Kiernan's "In The Papers."
Pat likes to hold up daily rags such as The Post in front of the camera and talk shit about the articles. That's how he rolls. Although a Canadian, Kiernan seems like a good guy.
Everyone knows that Liz Lemon is totally hot. But I feel that 30 Rock is starting to sex her up, as evident by shooting more scenes of her sans glasses. Unnecessary.
Scarily, I have done research into this field and am now posting my findings below for your analysis:
Hot.
Smoking hot.
Discuss.
As I mentioned before, I will be part of a group show about "Protest". The idea is to make a protest sign protesting something. Get it, "protest." Here's some more info about the show, which I guess is traveling to Philly and Lancaster. Also, you have to pay, but looks like there's some bands playing, so don't be an ass.
March 10, 2007
8:00 PM
Art Show Opening @ Williamsburg White Room
235 Roebling Street (corner of South 3rd Street) Brooklyn, New York
$7 "Everybody!, Make Some Noise" Protest Art Show Opening Reception/Party featuring 25 artists and designers from all over. With live music from The A.K.A.s, DEAR TONIGHT, DJ Massimo, and "more."
The PA info is after the jump...
03/23/2007 08:00 PM - Art Show Opening @ Long In The Tooth
20th and Sansom Street, Philadelphia, PA - Free!
WONKAVISION MAGAZINE PRESENTS: "Everybody, Make Some Noise" Protest Art
Show Opening Reception/Party. Featuring 25 Artists and Designers from
all over. w/ Live Music from The A.K.A.s, DJ's and SPECIAL GUEST TBA.
04/06/2007 10:00 AM (First Friday) Art Show Opening @ Metropolis Gallery
154 North Prince Street, Lancaster, PA 17603 - Free!
"Everybody, Make Some Noise" Protest Art Show Opening Reception.
Featuring 25 Artists and Designers from all over. After-Party from
10PM-2AM @ The Lizard Lounge
What kind of music is this?
Atlanta based Deerhunter seems to be the latest hype-driven Contemporary Spacerock offering. I find them having equal parts pure/noise/guitar ambient (Amp) and psychadelic/art rock (Flowchart.). I also hear traces of Georgia brahs, Olivia Tremor Control, and perhaps early Grasshopper-era Lips. This suggests that Deerhunter has some loose roots in, and a weird skew on, pop. Unfortunately, I also hear some tinges of "post-punk", which I fucking hate. I think alot of reviewers will tag the pop-punk/post-punk ribbon to these guys, but I'm not sure how accurate that is. At least no one has said "sounds like My Bloody Valentine". Yet. According to their mandatory myspace page, their live shows are pretty wild. Take a read through the "Sounds Like" testimonials.
Where are they from and what label(s) are they on?
They are from Atlanta, Georgia. They are on Kranky. They have a weblink to notownsound.net which doesn't work, so I'm not sure if this was a previous label or their band site.
Does it rock or suck?
I doesn't suck, although if you're bothered by lo-fi, or worse, pretend lo-fi, this isn't for you. In fact, I think the whole recording sounds kinda lame, making me wonder if they recorded and mixed it themselves. Although not always a bad thing, there's alot of hiss in places where I would think they would have chosen to clean it up, specifically on "Providence". The well tremelowed, although relatively clean guitars are sounding like cheap Fender Squires played through cheaper Crate amps. Worse, the drums are particularly fisty- they're flat and quiet, and buried in the mix, especially on "Lake Somerset" or "Hazel St." I'm sure this lo-fi aesthetic and oddball mixing is a conscious aesthetic decision, so bravo, Deerhunter, how avante. That said, I bet they rock live.
Should I buy their music, or see them live?
Buy their "Cryptograms" release on vinyl, smoke a dube then play it on your uncle's Hi-Fi. Sound better? I'll bet. Oh wait, it's 2007 and Kranky didn't put it out on vinyl. Pity. ***UPDATE*** (A birdie told me that this release is coming out on multiple vinyl!) Personally, I will make an effort to see them live so I can really see what the hell is going on. Unfortunately, I will be out of town when they're in NYC. If you're in town for these shows, I'd go to the underground/indy performance and not a venue show. I bet this band is much better when experienced outside of a "normal" venue. I bet being drunk or high helps too.
Summary:
The Contemporary Spacerock Revolution is good times. Obviously older people like me are needing to fill a void. It seems that any newish band that sounds remotely spacey seems to instantly get hyped and blow the hell up. I wish Deerhunter's guitars were a bit ballsier and/or hookier, because alot of their noise is seemingly coming from other distorted sources. Also, their drum/bass arrangement is a little white/gay for me — but hey; I like my drums hard and booming like Iraq, and my bass sexy and smooth like a baby's bottom. Regardless, I can't wait to see this band live.
One of my 4 readers suggested that I review music. I will when I'm goddamned ready. From here on out, I will review music in this 5 question/answer format:
What kind of music is this?
Where are they from and what label(s) are they on?
Does it rock or suck?
Should I buy their music, or see them live?
Summary:
Thank you.
Speaking of food, my new favorite wine (and it's not just anything that can't be knocked out of my hand with a stick) is Berro', which means; "I Will Drink". Oh, and did I ever as seen by the empty bottle.
Here's some info on it, sorry about the stupid state ID thingy...
Oh, and if you're in NYC you should go and ask Gabrio for it at De-Vino, in LES. Bookmark this link, because it's a great wine shop, with a nice (useful) site.
I believe truly good pasta is hard to find. But look no further. Hidden at the end of the "produce" aisle in the Key Foods on A in The Village, is a special, dedicated freezer containing Fratelli Pastas.
And check out these babies featured above — special Valentine's Day heart-shaped ravioli.
I am showing at the art event as seen above. The show is comprised of painters, illustrators, and designers from all over the country. We have all created 1 protest sign, protesting anything we like. There are no other rules or guidelines except that the format is either 40"x30" or 30"x40". More info to come.
I'm not sure how big this is elsewhere in the world, but in NYC we have a thing called "Street Donating". Everyone knows what a pain in the ass it is to properly donate stuff to charity, what with the acutal bringing of said stuff to a location more than 50 feet away from your apartment...
So, if you have something halfway decent, you are required to put a little sign on it that says something like; "Free TV, I Really Work!", bring it outside of your apartment building and plop it in the street. Within seconds, Old Grandfather Gotham winks his ancient eye and your item will be gone.
You can witness this in action as evident by the High Resolution Photography that I've posted for you. No shit! I literally put this down, and a man appeared out of nowhere to claim his treasure within 7 seconds, before I could walk 10 feet down the block. Enjoy your 19 inch. Zenith Tube Television my friend.
NYC got hit with all of the shit-ass weather that has been sweeping the country. It started last night and rolled on through till the morning, in fact, let me check... Yes, it's still snowing/icing/hailing/sleeting. Funtime Valentine's Day for all!
The pic above was taken at 2pm, in the middle of Houston at B. If you've never seen snow, or New York's generally pitiful attempt at plowing, hit the jump, son...
Note the magic as the city that doesn't sleep turns into the city that doesn't know how to plow.
I wasn't really sure who or what The Plug Awards are. But what I did know is that they were hosted by David Cross, and that Silversun Pickups were playing, meaning that I could at last get to see them perform.
As a former promoter, I understand the difficulty of throwing a mutli-media, multi-performer show. It's hard. There's only one stage, so whatever is setup has to be taken down quickly. Bands nowadays are extremely varried, what with different instruments, amps, turntables, drums, etc...
Also, if you want to start adding a full high shcool marching band (who were awesome, and should have had their 15 minutes instead of 3), a "hey, that's kinda cool" barbershop quartet, stupid-ass iPod "battles", and a really queer "Album Artwork of the Year Award Performance Art Piece", well, then your troubles grow exponentially.
As was the case for the show at Irving Plaza last Saturday. But I'll make it simple for you:
Top 5 Best Things about the 2007 Plug Awards Show
1) $10 General Admission Fee.
If it had cost more, then it all would have sucked.
2) David Cross.
Is awesome and funny. Enough said.
3) Silversun Pickups.
Are really ramping up quickly to become a formidable rocking presence. More importantly, they are one of the better bands who are picking up the spacerock banner from where it was last dropped in the mid 90's.
I'm still somewhat more enamored of Autolux, another LA spacerock revivist. But they were dicks when I said, "You guys sounded great, thanx for the show..." to not one, but two members at a previous Webster Hall gig. Plus, where the fuck is anything after Future Perfect, which was released like 4 years ago?
SSUP look like cool guys (and cool girl who can actually play bass), made no mistakes, and sounded good but not identical to their recordings. Also, the drummer comically has a crash set 15 feet off the ground, thus making him reach up everytime to hit it. I love weird drum setups, nice one!
4) No wait to get in.
Irving Plaza has a box office that is open during the day, a nice remenent of old school concert venues. And, it's close approximation to Union Square, means you can buy your tickets in advance and not pay jackass service fees. Having your tickets ready means no wait at the door, walk right in and rock. Irving is not my favorite venue, but they have military like precision when executing shows, and their staff is more professional and courteous than most venues.
5) Angering and embassament of French iPod "DJ".
Mercifully, people generally revolted against the "never get those 20 minutes back again" futility of the iPod Battle. According to Cross, this lame club phenom hails, of course, from France.
I guess the plan was to have 2 battles during the show. The first featured 2 sets of locals, both of whom where begging for severe beatings. I guess the French dude was supposed to be in on the second. Ironically, the people spoke in democratic fashion and turned on the iPod battles. In response, the promoters cancelled the second battle and the French dude was pissed, busting onto the mic and saying, "I want you to know that this battle was cancelled not because of French incompetence, but due to American disorganization..." or something like that. Fuck you dude. It sucked, that's it. Funny, you came across the pond for this, ha ha.
Top 5 Worst Things about the 2007 Plug Awards Show
1) Album Artwork of the Year Award Performance Art Piece.
It's not worth me explaining how much this sucked. In short, two annoying hipsters got up there and wasted everyone's time by attempting to do a mock folky-performance art slide show sing-a-long. No kidding.
2) iPod Battle.
Here is why iPod battles are stupid. The iPod "mixer(s)" used are not pitch controllable. This means that you cannot properly mix the songs together, because you cannot change the speed of each song individually like you can with CD decks, or better yet, turntables. So therefore it is not real DJing, and therefore it sucks.
Being hip, Cross had a funny salvo about this saying, "What's the point, you don't even need any of the gear, you can basically get up and say, 'I would play such and such', then the other person can say, 'Oh yeah, well I would have played this...'" True.
3) Deerhoof.
I don't understand why people like this band. I think it's because indy kids have been trained to think that any sort of Asian musician is cool, what with the little voice and big bass and all. Plus girls love that Satomi Matsuzaki, who is a girl, fronts a hype band.
Oh, and I don't give a shit that it was her birthday, she can celebrate it with her friends back home in The Mission, but not on my watch, missy. I guess Jeff Tweedy was still high when suggesting to my friend that they were the best new band to come around in awhile.
4) Hipster Judge/Moderator of iPod Battles.
What a dick.
5) Fan of the Year Award Nominee "Damian" aka The Dude with the Big Gay Hat with the Fake Bird in it.
Again, what a dick. You can't be an adult living in NYC if you don't know what an acronym is.
My best brah was in from out of town last weekend. We decided to (finally) check out the MTA Transit Museum in Brooklyn.
Although the interweb site claims that admission is free, there was a $5.00 donation requested—a small price to pay for a fascinating look at how immense, innovative, and often dangerous was the creation of the NYC Subway. All of us living in cities see daily the shitty construction and materials that are used to make modern dwellings, much of which will start to deteriorate after about 25 years.
The subway, by contrast, was built 100 years ago, and much of the original construction still remains. Built to spill? No! Built to last.
The best part is that the museum is built in the old Court Street station in Brooklyn Heights, so not only is it an authentic exhibition space, but it also has the capacity to house retired cars. Walking thru (literally) this part of the exhibit introduces you to cars from the 30's, 50's and 60's. Good times.
Of course, the irony was that the F decided to run on the A line, causing us to go completely the opposite direction uptown to get to West 4th, then pick up the F (again) and take it back thru the A line and out the bottom of Manhattan to Brooklyn. This fun detour bloated a 15 minute, direct ride into a 1 hour plus snoozefest.
When I first got to Hamburg last fall, one of the first things I saw was a bell-bottomed hippie hitchhiking on the freeway. He was wearing a vest, and a funny hat, similar to the one shown above. I believe he even was carrying his belongings in blanket that was tied to a stick — Huck Finn style. (I can't vouch for the last part, tho...)
This was no hippie. This was Herr Zimmermin.
Perhaps German Operative Chillmost can guest blog about this fascinating culture? Pretty please?
At first I sorta said "meh"' to this whole story, but then I got to thinking...
Lisa Nowak, you are a robotics engineer. You do not need to second guess your deadly prowess by resorting to mere plastic garbage bags and steel mallets. Pepper spray is for civilians, as is your kid's BBGun. I do, however, give you steez for wearing Depends on the cultural voyage that is Houston to Orlando, but, c'mon! If science teaches us anything, it teaches us that it's better to make killer robots do the dirty work, than do it ourselves. Like Roomba.
Am I the only one who remembers the Tom Selek and Kirstie Alley classic Runaway?
In Runaway, there were killer robots on the loose! They were sneaky, insect-like even. They could climb up skyscrappers, and inject poison in the people's necks. They had skilled robo-buddies that could race under cars and explode them. Even Magnum P.I. had a special weapon whose the bullet could turn corners, and Fat Actress had a secret kilo-sized coke compartment concealed in a belt.
Surely one of America's elite could have engineered something similar, and probably on NASA's dime.
For shame Lisa. We all understand being heated over love, but what seperates us from the apes is how efficiently we can procure it. Especially if one can make robots.
So, we tried to go to a taping of the Daily Show the other day. My man had "secured" tickets via the World Wide Interweb. These were confirmed tickets, mind you, so we didn't mind waiting outside in 20 degree weather for a few minutes because we knew our tickets were confirmed. Oh wait, they weren't.
Instead, we were treated to two fisty producers who couldn't confirm if our confirmed tickets would get us in. But we were welcome to wait outside for an hour (in 20 degree weather, did I mention that?) to see if we were the privledged few that would get to see the moderately amusing show. I guess it was too much to ask the brilliant Daily Show producers to dole out tickets ahead of time.
Obviously, there was only one clear choice.
We extended the middle finger to said "pro/reducers", and The Daily Show, and headed quicklike to the nearest bar, called House of Brews. Which, by the way is a reasonable oasis if you're stuck up by 51st and 8th.
Thanks for nothing, Jon. Dick.
Someone threw this up across the street from my boy's apartment in Brooklyn.
He says that he first saw it with the landlord during the apartment showing, to which the landlord said, "What does that say? Oh, pay no attention to that..." Right.
Nice job Bears, you made the first few seconds of the Superbowl Superawesome. Rex, I thought we told you not to throw the ball, although the whole team shared the blame.
But as disappointing as the Bears loss was, at least it was an excuse to have a rager in Brooklyn.
As you can see from the cutting edge, high resolution photos I posted, it was good times! We did our best to import some Chicago cuisine, like Uno's Pizza, Vienna Beef Hotdogs (with no ketchup), Potato and Macaroni salads, and Italian beef with garlic bread. As hard as we tried, we couldn't find any Old Style, so we stole from St. Louis and stocked up on Budweiser.
Aside from the Bowl, there was illegal gambling such as a Hold 'Em cash game in the bedroom, and various sheets of Squares going around. At one point there was a shotgunning beers contest.
I can blog even lying down. Even from bed. The world is so rad.
If I were you, and I lived in Chicago, I would attend this opening. Why? Because Superartist and General All-Around Swell Gal Phoebe Fisher is showing. Info noted on the flyer above.
Yes. It's called Loreley. Since personally sampling the fine superiority of German beer last fall, I have developed a bias. Real German beer is the best. Did you know that there are strict credentials, known as the "German Beer Purity Law" or Reinheitsgebot, for a beer to be labeled "German"? Reinheitsgebot states that German beer is made from only four ingredients; water, hops, barley, and yeast. If you add anything else- like, say, some sort of berry- then it legally cannot be called beer.
Anywho, this place is the closest us New Yorkers can get to it without hopping on a plane. And it's somewhat hidden, tucked between LES and Nolita, so it cuts down on the knucklehead factor. Sorta. I recommend Warsteiner because it's fun to say, and comes in a big special glass which sits well in the hand. Meat eaters tell me the food is excellent; authentic, reasonable, hearty, and, well, German. They make their own pretzels, and you can get an order of Pommes Rot Weiss euro-style.
Part of me thinks this is funny because, as someone who works in advertising, I can already hear heads rolling past cubicles, and/or the blinging sounds of promotion. Everyone knows that ad creatives sit around all day ripping off ideas. What they get paid for, is to adapt these ideas to whatever product is being schelped off on the masses. As such, this was hot shit last year. So was this.
You can see where this is going. If you have to pimp Aqua Teen Hunger Suck, you combine the aforelinked media together and highlight one of the show's characters in a "ownable" attempt at guerrilla marketing. And "research indicates" that it will work really well for a trife city like Boston, where there is a plethora of college kids that watch this crap.
Genius! Martini's all around! The agency pats theirselves on the back, and the client beams with pride...
Only problem is, when you produce a guerrilla campaign, like any sort of public event, you have to consider all of the angles.
It's lazy and inexcusable that ATHF's marketing company (and/or Turner Broadcasting) did not inform Boston authorities about any such installation. That is, of course, unless they knew perfectly well what they were doing, as evidenced by their 5pm "we did it" call. And yes, they should be extra sympatheic post Boston Tea Party.
I think it's very reasonable to check such an event out first, or at least post a bulletin, saying; "We are conducting an advertising campaign using these installations (pic included) which will be displayed around the city area." CNN should also be reprimanded for adding fuel to the fire and reporting the "hoax", oh wait, they're under the same roof as Cartoon Network...
What's that you say?
"But then it's not a guerrilla campaign, it's planned..." says the Creative Director, who has since been promoted to Executive Creative Director.
Good one, Turner Broadcasting.
Either way, I still think they look like Lite-Brites, and I still think Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Boston both suck.
PS. This just in:
It is called marketing gold.
I watched The Wheel last night because I don't have cable, and the only station I get is shitty ABC. Pat and Vanna are still at it after all these years, you'll be happy to know. And they still look reasonable, mostly thanks to the miracles of modern science. Yet my attention focused on Sajak.
Did you know he was a native Chicagoian? Polish American? That he went to Columbia College Chicago with Andy Richter, and this amazing artist, and that he's a conservative Republican? I did not, and I bet you didn't either. Of course, the Republican part bothers me a bit, although he can't be all bad since he too hates that balloon-headed bitch as much as I do.