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What is this?

The Master Cleanse is a hippie detox/fast thing. Here's how it works. You don't eat anything. Also, you don't drink, smoke (of any kind), no coffee, medications, etc. To Survive, you drink at least 60oz. of a concoction consisting of lemons, maple syrup and cayenne pepper. As you drink this "Lemonade" drink, you also drink lots of water. At night, you drink an herbal laxative. In the morning, you drink The Saltwater Flush, 30oz. of water with 2 tsp. of sea salt. Yes, it's gross.

Oh yeah, you do it for 10 days straight.

Where is this from?

Appearantly Stanley Burroughs, Stanley Burroughs, you know, Stanley Burroughs?!?! Although Peter Glickman ripped it off to sell a book about it.

Does it rock or suck?

It depends on you. I found the first 3 days to be very difficult, because you are super hungry. Also, the Salt Water Flush is disgusting. I found myself being super fisty the first 3 days, especially when paired with my girlfriend, who was also doing the Cleanse.

After that, however, you sorta get used to it. It's true that you have alot energy. I noticed this mostly in the moring, as I was able to get up and be clear and awake in minutes, especially with no coffee.

I also noticed that my thought focus varried considerably during the Cleanse. I had to work the whole time, and the project(s) I was working on were complicated. Sometimes I was dead on; other times, I was sorta a dumbass (most notably later in the day.) All of this energy vanishes around 8pm, however, when you really start longing for food.

Should I do it?

Probably not.

Summary:

I was glad I did it, mostly just to see if I could do it. I felt proud. I saved money. And according to the scale, I lost about 10lbs.

It is a pain in the ass though, Literally. One morning, after the Salt Water Flush, I was racing to get to work. I didn't make sure that the flush had flushed all the way. I was all suited up and ready to, and while standing in my hallway, locking my apartment door, I had to fart.

So I did, and shit-blasted my pants. I had one of those moments where you're like, "Oh Jesus, was that just a wet fart, or did I just shit my pants like a little baby?!?!" Unfortunately it was the latter, so I had to go back inside and take care of it.

So that was a bummer. More importantly, I question the detox aspect of it. I think for meat eaters, it will definately clear your colon. But for healthy vegetarians, I think not so much. Also, I don't believe that it clears out other toxins that aren't in your digestive tract, like if you're a smoker, or if you like drugs.

I may do it again, I may not. So there.