Elvis Was A Narc
(And yes, Dog Elvis is sporting the Red Lipstick, how horrifying. Indecent.)
After the brunch where we sighted fisty and his two little geniuses, I was strolling home past Tompkins. I saw an abnormally large group of people by the dog run. See, in NYC people either feel the need to own dogs and cram them in tiny apartments, or stand around and watch other people's dogs at city park runs.
(PS. What's this racist shit? Were all the Chocolate Lab owners dressing their dogs up in blackface?)
But today was no ordinary day. I realized that the commotion was for a "Pet Halloween Show" at the park. All pet owners deserve a solid beating no matter what, but I had a special vendetta for the owner-animal duo I was passing. Not only did this dude dress up his animal as Elvis, but he also made a considerably intricate stage/float for his cur. What an asshole. Everyone knows Elvis was semi-retarded, and a total rat narc who didn't share his drugs.
As I continued by this public embarrassment, I gazed sadly into little Dog Elvis' eyes, and saw that, "Yeah man, can you believe this asshole? Look at me! But what the fuck is a dog gonna do? I gotta eat..." look. Tragic.