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I almost ran over a pug the other day. I was cruising through the Village going southbound downtown on 2nd AVE. I made a left crosstown turn onto 10th ST, on a green. I had the right of way.

There were pedestrians on either corner, and they began to move as I was completing my turn. Suddenly a pug darted out from the crowd, tethered by a 15 foot leash.

I skidded and missed his squat little head by inches.

As I rode away, the owner yelled at me, calling me an asshole. I yelled back, telling him to fuck himself and keep his fucking dog on a short leash, out of the street.

In retrospect, I wish I had run over the pug and mind you, I like pugs. In fact, I wish I had installed a wheel of sharpened blades on my front tire, with a little catch-all pan behind it. This way I could have swooped in and lopped off the little buddy's head without a hitch. It would roll into the pan, and while riding, I could pick up the head and hold it high as I tore through the Village laughing, and laughing, and laughing...