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Sometimes, when you’re really, really tired, it’s all magical and floaty. You encounter your world embrazen with an unfettered optimism. Everything isn’t as bad as it seems, and, in your mind’s eye, each upcoming day will outshine it’s predecessor.
But then other times, when you’re really, really tired, everything is just extra gay.
I'd hate to think that NYC will adopt any more things from London, but I actually believe PlanNYC 2030 to be GoodTimes.
As someone who rides the streets daily, shit's out of control. Plus, the chronic "empty pockets" of the MTA need mending. If you can, you can participate in the democratic process here.
I'm always astounded at how baffled NYC becomes when it snows. People panic and the citywide I.Q. drops considerably. But as this has always been a constructive blog, I have some advice that I am graciously sharing with The City of New York. In fact, I can consolidate my advice in 3 Easy Steps:
WHAT TO DO IN CASE OF SNOW IN NYC
1) Plow
2) Shovel
3) Salt
Thank you.
Also, umbrellas are for rain, not snow. As such, walking around with an umbrella in the snow is queer.
I'd like to write something clever, but I'm fucking tired and hungry.
If you live in NYC, go to this show.
Oh yeah, it's a musical show, not a gay sweater/cat contest.
"Informative" link 1.
"Informative" link 2.
"Hey, remember this" link 3.
My man and I were walking into SoHo the other day, when we realized the dude stranded on the median across from us was none other than Ben From Lost.
How did we know? Well, although taller than expected, he looked and acted exactly like Ben From Lost. This man waiting in the middle of Allen had Ben’s eastern eurospike hair-do, and his Indiana Jones Nazi Guy That Melts spectacles. In addition, he was standing straight as an arrow and mowing down everyone before him with a gaze of superiority.
In fact, he looked and acted exactly as seen in the picture above.
It was a good thing that I was wearing my hair shirt that day, because the itch reminded me to pray to Jesus Christ Our Lord and Savior for temperance and refuse my urge to beat him down in the street while demanding to know why his character (and show) blows ass so much. Worse, I forgot my conch back at the apartment, so there was no way to call Jack for support.
Next to this, I think the best gift I’ve received is this knife.
This knife is The Metro from their Collaborations Series, made by Buck. Interestingly, “Buck Knives” were the first knives to have a locking blade that folds out of the handle. Much stronger than a penknife, Buck blades lock until you push the release.
With The Metro, I can pop beers just as easily as I can slice my initials into your back, right over your kidneys. Plus, I can palm the little fucker when The Fuzz shows up to try to take me down. (Emphasis on "try".)
Speaking of knives, it’s fast and easy to pick some up off The WorldWide InterWeb, like these or these.
When my man isn't busy amputating his own finger, he's sending me near incomprehensible emails about how much I suck. They read like this:
"your gumball thing sucks donkey dick, check this out"
Polished like a Civil War spittoon, and blunt as the mill wheel that took Pa's arm at Little House on the Prairie, my man is quite the wordsmith. Watch him thumb his nose at punctuation and clarity.
But he may have a point. If you can keep your mind from exploding, this is a pretty champ MIDI controller.
Do you live in Hamburg? Would you like to see a film, in which a man loves a woman from behind? I bet you would, you filthy swine!
My man Chillmost, seen ripping a solo in this video, is performing with his band Venusberg at Markthalle in Hamburg this Sunday, February 10. You can find out about it here.
I wish I could go, but I have to fight crime elsewhere. I also wish everyone could just get along, and most importantly, I wish to God that the band's name was Penisberg and the lyrics were in German, and everyone performed naked in those huge novelty condoms, that are actually rather snug on me. And I wish they had a chorusline of Hamburg prostitutes with color-coded umbrellas and matching fannypacks, executing grandiose routines with Bauschian precision...
I've been reading tons lately. One of the best books I've read in a long time is, Soon I Will Be Invincible. by Austin Grossman.
Invincible is simple, fluid and infectious. At it's core it is a superhero tale; straightup good versus evil. In front of a contemporary world backdrop, there are superheroes, and, of course, supervillains. What sets these characters apart is how human Grossman crafts them. The Champions are comprised of heroes with names like Blackwolf, Damsel, and Mister Mystic; all tempered with insecurity, arrogance and vanity that seem to always follow power and fame. The villains are no different. Some are surly drunks, laughably corny, or hidden in seclusion.
The story itself follows supervillain Doctor Impossible, a global domineering, frustrated genius with a massive chip on his shoulder dating back to his college years. On the side of all things good, it also follows Fatale, a young woman and new cyborg who not only has to deal with her new skin, but is also tapped to join The Champions; the most powerful, and visible super team in the world.
At the time, the book was only available in hardcover, with the paperback version forthcoming.
My man sent this Bubblegum Sequencer to me today, and while it may be about as useful as a third nut, it's still pretty cool. I'd write more, but I still feel like shit after being laid up with the Flu for the last week. So there.
Fuh + Que New England. Special Asshole Props to Belichick for his little tantrum. Bitches.
