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June 27, 2008

NYC Bike Shelter.

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While tooling around Union Square yesterday, I stumbled upon what I thought was a brand new bus shelter, but what turned out to be a bike shelter.

In response to the ever growing number of cyclists and to promote cycling as a healthy, environmentally-sustainable form of transportation, DOT will work with our Coordinated Street Furniture vendor, Cemusa, to install 37 Bicycle Parking Structures around the City by the end of the year. Each shelter will contain stainless steel bike racks for eight bikes.

And, sure enough;


The design closely resembles the award-winning Bus Shelter, using the same high-quality materials.

Umm, thank you NYCDOT, but perhaps build the shelters to house more than 8 bikes?

The city has been commited to adding 200 miles of bike lanes in 3 years, a project which should be completed by 2009. And that's awesome, seriously. But stats like this and this indicate more and more people are biking not only because it's cool, but because it's a better alternative that driving and a (usually) less stressful alternative to MTA.

Because this is a people-first blog, committed to servicing you, current city .pdf bike maps can be viewed and downloaded here.

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June 25, 2008

Guns.

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My friend decided to shoot guns for her birthday party. Because we live in The Most Difficult City in The Universe To Do Anything Simple we have but one option; West Side Pistol Range.

For $55 you get this:

1) 45 minute lesson from a man who talks with closed eyes, only to open them in a state of rapture whilst touching "his gun".

2) Piece-of-shit .22 rifle. (Which is literally chained to the table in the range.)

3) 1 box of .22 rounds (50 total).

4) 5 magazines.

5) Cheap eye protection.

6) Reasonable Ear protection.

7) Free targets.

8) The priceless camaraderie of hanging out with strange New York gun people in the basement of a building on 20th in Chelsea.

Basically you don't get alot of "bang for you buck". Garf! Yet this isn't the real tragedy. The real tragedy is that it's easier and cheaper to buy blow or blowjobs in The Big Apple than to own a gun.

How much, exactly? The gun permit costs $575.25, and here's more fun FAQ.

So blow and blowjobs are much, much cheaper. Far cheaper than the services of your mother as she does charge a pretty penny after all...

(Pictures of how much I rule after the jump...)

(Pictures of how much I rule after the jump...)

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Schnauss On Schnauss...

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Because I am an ass, I missed 98.5% of the Ulrich Schnauss show last night. Why? Because I worked harder than overweight Rik Shaw driver dragging an equally overweight foreigner; and as a result, showed up late, feeling oddly "thirsty".

When I finally made it to the excellent World Financial Center's Winter "Garden" Venue, Dorit Chrysler was on stage playing the red-haired stepchild of all instruments, The Theremin, and I now wish I paid more attention because in retrospect it was sort of awesome, certainly a worthy endeavor of one named "Dorit Chrysler".

So I missed Schnauss, although I've seen him before. Nonetheless, I earned the right to say "Schnauss" in a faux German accent as many times as I care to retell this bland story. The End.

June 23, 2008

Winter Garden 2008

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Tons of shit goes on at World Financial Center in Battery Park, except that no one ever really knows about it until it's too late. Like Bang On a Can for instance, note "We Had A Marathon!".

With my little eye, I spied a listing for a free Ulrich Schnauss show tommorrow, Tuesday, June 24th. Fennesz, Kode 9, and Four Tet will be there this summer as well.

Brooklyn Vegan has more info about this show, and other cool shit happening there this summer.

Cubs kick the Sox's Ass...

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...not once, not twice, but three times for the sweep. Boo!

Meanwhile, I came across this hilarious Bill Murray Cubs broadcast from back in the day. Oh wait, YouTube pulled it down, lame. It would have looked something like this...

June 04, 2008

Papillion Rocks the Taste of Des Plaines, IL.

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Go see Papillion.

A True Pfister.

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