Last weekend, my boys decided to have a double team birthday party at Water Taxi Beach. By showing up to one party, I was able to satisfy two separate birthdays! This is a step in the right direction.

If I had my way, I would take every group of friends, and reassign their individual birthdays and birthday parties to be on exactly the same day at the same time. I would also decree that there could be absolutely no deviation from this communal birth "date", including, under no circumstances, separate birthday celebrations, or even worse, birthday dinners.

Such sweeping change is possible. For example, I've had a longstanding policy of boycotting birthday dinners (or group dinners — defined as parties of more than 4 people congregating at a specific time to eat food together at a restaurant or bar), and, proudly after years and years, I've trained my friends to accept this and thus disclude me from such events. Now, I don't even have to do anything, like make up some bullshit about how I can't attend. Now they just know — they have been trained.

Oh yeah, I noticed I took lots of pictures of shirtless dudes, but I'm no homo. See, look:

It's a real shame that most people are so conservative at weddings. Tuxes, white dresses, limos, etc... It would be nice if once, just once a wedding party really let their hair down, you know, really let loose...

I swear to Orf that someone is getting handed a Beatdown today. Will it be you?

Both my Beautiful Girlfriend and I are very busy people, but even we find make time to help wildlife. Last weekend, we took a quick jaunt up to our northern neighbor Canada, and paid a visit to some baby seals.

This shot was taken with "Sadie" a 3 week old Harp Seal, just before we clubbed that barking little bitch like a red-haired stepchild.

The only thing more horrific than Coney Island, is Coney Island on a shitty day. Just look.

And yet, this is when you should buck up and throw yourself headlong into the experience. This is when you eat $20 in fried food, drink crap beer, avoid stumbling drunks, woof down a funnel cakes and give money to surly carnies to play fixed games.

Or, you can check out Coney's new, tasteful and exciting attraction.

I've wrote about NYC beaches before here, and here. This summer, my boy turned me onto another, "hidden" beach called Gilgo Beach. Gilgo is just past Tommy Hilfiger at Jones Beach Theater Nikon at Jones Beach Theater, on eastern most end of Jones Beach Island. It is part of the town of Babylon. If you like, you can check out this riveting, live web cam of the beach, but I warn you that it's pretty exciting, as there is alot of visual stimuli to process.

Gilgo is a surfers' beach, and yes, people surf on the East Coast. The bitch is that it costs $30 to park your car in the parking area, but it's $30 per car so rolling with a crew helps distribute the cost. Oh, and you have to run across Ocean Parkway to get to the actual beach, but as long as you are relatively sober, it's not so bad. The lot area also has restrooms, and The Gilgo Beach Inn, which we thought was a restaurant, until we went in there for a book of matches, only to realize it was actually a full liquor bar.

On the far end of the lot is a dock which features boatloads of locals who cruise into Great South Bay, moor up and get hammered all day long. Apparently, this is nothing new, since this area has been a shady pirate hang-out since the early-mid 1600's housing the likes of Blackbeard, Captain Redeye and Captain Morgan. Who knew?

(More action-packed photos, and a somewhat interesting amateur documentary about Gilgo, after the jump...)

Check out this new Nudge song, Cymatic, with accompanying yeast infection time lapse video.

Jungle. Jungle. Jungle. Bigup Honkynation!

These were taken, somehow, at somepoint, somewhere in Las Vegas:

(More after the jump...)

The above couple of photos were taken in the "Charlie Sheen" suite. Remember the chicken crossbow from the classic film, Hot Shots! Part Deux? The dope threads are a costume from Wall Street, or something...

What the fuck is this? Racism? Why, it's The White Wizard that was indeed present throughout the weekend, wink.. wink...

Between bachelor partying, I managed to take in the Cirque du Soleil Beatles Tribute, Love. It was absolutely fantastic, mostly because they picked all the cool Beatles songs to choreograph. Like these:

1. Because
2. Get Back
3. Glass Onion
4. Eleanor Rigby

Julia (Transition)

5. I Am The Walrus
6. I Want To Hold Your Hand
7. Drive My Car/ The Word/ What You're Doing
8. Gnik Nus

9. Something

Blue Jay Way (Transition)

10. Being For The Benefit of Mr. Kite!/ I Want You (She's So Heavy)/ Helter Skelter
11. Help!
12. Blackbird/ Yesterday
13. Strawberry Fields Forever
14. Within You Without You/ Tomorrow Never Knows
15. Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds
16. Octopus's Garden
17. Lady Madonna
18. Here Comes The Sun

The Inner Light (Transition)

19. Come Together/ Dear Prudence/ Cry Baby Cry

(Transition)

20. Revolution
21. Back In The U.S.S.R.
22. While My Guitar Gently Weeps
23. A Day In The Life
24. Hey Jude
25. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)
26. All You Need Is Love

More information about the recordings can be found here.

Of note are the transitions, which were surprising experimental. Like this:

Sir George Martin totally brought it when putting this show together, having access to the original reels. Also, each seat has it's own sound system, in conjunction with spectacular "3D" house sound — and, it's loud, perfect for deaf people like me.

...just look at this blingin front wheel!

My English friend claims that Bulldogs are, "A rubbish dog...", while my Japanese friend claims that, "Pug was created when Japanese soldiers went to China and kicked in every face..."

I don't know, I think they're kinda cute.

Two very thoughtful friends bought me this crucial stationary.

This in from my girl... Wow!