July 14, 2008
June 23, 2008
Cubs kick the Sox's Ass...
...not once, not twice, but three times for the sweep. Boo!
Meanwhile, I came across this hilarious Bill Murray Cubs broadcast from back in the day. Oh wait, YouTube pulled it down, lame. It would have looked something like this...
June 04, 2008
Papillion Rocks the Taste of Des Plaines, IL.
Go see Papillion.
May 30, 2008
Beware "Pug Buddy."
The Chicago Sun Times reported today that residents of greater Northwest Suburban Chicago should be on the look out for this man, who has been dubbed "Pug Buddy" by victimized Pug owners.
The Times reports:
[name withheld], or Pug Buddy, has been repeatedly accused of inappropriate conduct between himself and unsuspecting Pugs, owners say. According to the victims, Pug Buddy shows up to parties, unannounced and intoxicated. Pug Buddy, usually donning a Hawaiian shirt, typically offered the owners a "gift" for their dogs — a doggy Hawaiian shirt, often with a pattern identical to his.Owners say Pug Buddy would "dominate" the dog, forcing it to sit on his lap for long periods of time, and sometimes manipulate the animal in a puppet-like fashion.
[name changed] Ron Burntcraft of Downers Grove says; "Pug Buddy showed up at my daughter's 12th birthday party last weekend, and claimed to be the husband of one of her grade school teachers (who was invited to the party and had yet to arrive). He seemed a little off, but he had a gift for [Pug's name withheld] Giggles so we figured he was alright."
Burntcraft goes on to say; "Next thing we know, everyone is like, 'Where's the dog?' I looked around and heard some wimpering sounds from the rec-room downstairs. So I went down there, and this guy has the dog on his lap, lookin' all sorts of crazy. I literally had to pry them apart with a broom handle."
Any information on the whereabouts of Pug Buddy should be immediately reported to the Times.
May 21, 2008
Vote For Papillion.
I have a bunch of shit to write about, but, until I feel like it let me throw this out there.
Click on this link, and vote for Papillion.
Why? So they can play with Radiohead at this year's Lollapalooza in Chicago. Oh, and, because they rock and are involved with shit like this. But don't take my word for it, check out their profile at MyFacebook.com on The InterWeb.
May 13, 2008
Chicago Is Tough.
But not the good tough, like Laphroaig or Brooke Hogan.
Chicago legislators are trying to pass an "Event Promoter" law which, from my understanding, would essentially target event promoters to register and comply as Chicago business owners and require them to acquire event permits and insurance for every event they produce which draws over 100 people. Even if they are working for a legal venue that already has such permits and insurance.
Bummer? You bet!
Click here to find the Alderman for your favorite ward. If you're lucky, they have The InterWebs and can be contacted by using them. Oh yeah, you have about 12 hours to do all this from... Now!
PS. If you are inept, you can copy what I wrote (after the jump...) and claim it as your own!
April 14, 2008
Chris Eichenseer.
If I were to be in Chicago May 02-20, I would see this show. It's by the guy from Someoddpilot Design + Photography.
Oh, also, my girl is having a show, but of course she sends me no info.
March 05, 2008
My Man’s Finger.
My man injured his finger while knuckleheadedly cleaning his track chain with a hanky-wrapped index finger. It looks like the little guy didn’t make it. The fingertip that is, my man escaped with his life. Previously, my man has this to say:
(the quote has been altered to reflect proper grammar, and protect the innocent)
Hello Everyone,Just to inform everyone, after next Tuesday [my wife] would like me to be referred to as “9 2/3”, “Stubby”, or “9.65” (editor’s note: I believe he means 9.66 or 9.667) since I am having 1/3 of my finger removed. It’s been a nice almost 33 years but it’s got to go. I hope this will not be too hard of a change.
Later,
[First Name] “9 2/3” [Last Name]
January 14, 2008
The Weiner Circle
Often, drinking makes you hungry, and such was the case after a recent bout of it in Chicago. Inexplicably, this all took place at a lesbian neighborhood bar in Wrigleyville.
My friend decided she was hungry and wanted a chilidog corndog hotdog from fucking Underdog, which is quite possibly the biggest pain-in-the-ass-place to easily get to on wheels. My other friend suggested The Weiner Circle on Clark, and my keen sense of geometry quickly figured that this was the best option while getting from Point A (Wrigleyville, home of the bitchass Cubs and their white fans) to Point B (Anywhere else other than Wrigleyville.)
It wasn't hard to convince my friend that a weiner is a weiner, so off we went to ‘The Circle’ (a moving picture after the jump...)
January 11, 2008
Da Coach's Wine.
I found this last xmas in Chicago, and it's funny to me. Not "Ha, ha" funny, but more like "inward smile" funny.
Yes, Da' Coach Merlot has a twist-off top, but apparently it's pretty ok. And if you're into it, Iron Mike's got more too.
January 10, 2008
A Blast From The Past...
I came across this old-school photo op with Frank Black, when I caught him once in Portland...
December 04, 2007
"The Hawk"
I've probably said this before, But Chicagoist writes better than Gothamist. So BFD, right?
Although, what in the hell is this?
Since my knowledge is ecumenical, I will answer the following for you. As such, you will be able to rest better tonite, and in The Future.
September 11, 2007
Nudge Show at The Empty Bottle 091207 (Tomm, Wed)
Hi. If you live in Chicago, grow a beard and ride your fixie over to The Bottle. This show is not to be missed. While pressing for more info, I got this response:
Nudge. Rock!
August 15, 2007
The (Right) Sox Totally Sucked Ass This Year
Me and my man were excited to hit up one of the the last Yanks-Sox series of 2007. My man found tix on the InterWeb — decent seats no less. And what were we treated to? A series fucking pummeling, that's what.
Way to hold down the rear of the AL Central, Chicago. Until next year.
Continue reading "The (Right) Sox Totally Sucked Ass This Year" »
August 09, 2007
So...
...I've been workin overtime like a Thai ladyboy in a sea full of dicks.
But I have found the time to announce another Phoebe Fisher art show, if you live in The City By The Lake, that is.
July 17, 2007
Rocking, Drugs, Inclimate Weather, Violence, Nudity, Crass Behavior...
...obviously you're at The Punk Rock Show in Chicago.
While I was home last weekend, I successfully escaped Boys Town on a Saturday night (don't ask) and made it to The Punk Rock Show in trendy Wicker Park. I guess dude from Johann's Face has been running Lucky Gator Loft for years. Who knew.
The band is called Tongues. It featured ex-"members" of Joan of Arc, Apocolypse Hoboken, probably some other shit as well. $5 got you into a huge, steamy loft and right in front some some punk/hardcore/mathish/something bands. BYOS in effect, and of course smoking indoors. As per any good punk show, people got wasted and rowdy. They shoved each other, made "guest" vocal appearances, took their pants off and spit beer on the band. Then The Man showed up later and made some arrests.
Continue reading "Rocking, Drugs, Inclimate Weather, Violence, Nudity, Crass Behavior..." »
July 16, 2007
Rod! What a Dick... (Governor Rod Blagojevich)
Since I gots The City By The Lake on the mind, I find this Chicagoist post funny for lots of reasons, but mostly because it reminded me how much I like to say aloud the words; "Governor Rod Blagojevich". Go ahead, try it. His last name is pronounced, "Blag + Goy + O + Vitch." Plus, his first name is "Rod!" GoodTimes.
For those not in The Know, Governor Rod Blagojevich (I refuse to call him the trendy, "Blaggo") fell into position as the Democratic Governor of the Great State of Illinois — pronounced, "Ill + Uh + Noy."
Anywho, Governor Rod Blagojevich dropped $600 of his own taxpayer's bread to work on that fisty (in the true sense of the word) puss of his. And it shows. Nice work Governor Rod Blagojevich.
PS. Extra fun fact: Governor Rod Blagojevich actually had the balls to launch a site called "Rod For Illinois!"
Governor Rod Blagojevich.
Pitchfork Friday, The Only Day That Mattered...
I took my broseph to the Pitchfork Music Festival for the Friday night show, the first of three. Pitchfork had a great concept for the opening night; have three great artists play their greatest releases, and keep the whole thing simple. Slint performed Spiderland, GZA performed Liquid Swords, and Sonic Youth performed Daydream Nation.
I could give a shit about any of the other bands playing Pitchfork, but I'll take any opportunity to see SY, and I used to dig Slint too. I was excited. After knocking a few back on the roof at Twisted Spoke, we safely ditched our ride and walked down Ogden to historic Union Park. I was impressed with what I saw. There were no bullshit lines waiting to get in, and the admissions staff was quick and competent. Oh yeah, and Friday's ticket was only $15. The evening didn't appear oversold, which is becoming the norm for outdoor music festivals. I could easily walk over to the beer line, and get a coldy in about 5 minutes. As for pissing, there were ample not-that-disgusting-yet Porto potties, whose waiting times were comparable to those of the beer lines. The weather was gorgeous. Clear, cool and breezy.
Super-important shit after the jump...
Continue reading "Pitchfork Friday, The Only Day That Mattered..." »
June 08, 2007
Do You Live In Chicago and Like to Buy Cute Shit?
My brah informed be that The Firebelly Art Market is going on in Chicago.
It's tommorrow, Saturday June 9th.
It's at 2701 W. Thomas.
It's from 11am-5pm.
It's donating 50% of proceeds to fight Lung Cancer.
It's featuring wares from the talented Qylaar duo, who make stuff real nice-like.
It's awesome.
May 11, 2007
Weekend
Yung and I know what it means to put in a good, hard week of work.
But right now is the weekend for most, and in case you were checking, we both give you the Thumbs Up to go ahead and have a Rockin Weekend. And so does Matt.
April 05, 2007
Old-skool jungle
Special Operative, Sr. Poopy-pants has made me aware of a great site dedicated to old-skool jungle. Wow! You have to register, but BFD. Someone with a ton of freetime has been encoding old mix tapes and has made them available for download streaming.
Dude must be centered in Chicago because there seems to be alot Chicago Jungalists in the mix. Man, I miss those old Ripe parties. (Sniff)
Check out fisty, waiting for you to dip your hand in the cooler
Special Agent HBKR sent me this terrifing fascinating glimpse into the harmony of man and nature.
A coyote suddenly busted into a downtown Chicago Quizno's, and then hopped in the cooler. Click thru to click thru to ABC's award worthy video, complete with hilarious local testimoial. Notice how fisty that coyote looks — he obviously knows something we don't and totally isn't willing to share.
The story ends sadly, however, as Ole' Fisty is sentenced to a slow, joyless and boring death as only the rich know released into Barrington, home of drive-way free/shooting spree fast food chains. Oh wait, that was Palatine.
April 04, 2007
Phoebe site updated, featuring girl-love/racoon products
I've hyped her site before, but now it's been updated with more art. And ill products.
Supposedly she's having some more shows in Chicago soon, but who knows for sure... Info please.
April 03, 2007
Nudge at The Empty Bottle, Chicago
My man, Nudge doesn't want to advertise his show, despite repeat requests for info. So I'll drudge it up myself, using The World Wide Interweb. Also, he's still not a hippie anymore, ladies.
But if he were to put an announcement together, it would look something like this:
The Empty Bottle
1035 N. Western Ave.
Chciago
WED. 4/4/07 (10:00pm, $10)
Deerhunter
Nudge
You should go to this show.
March 12, 2007
Chicago vs. New York Style Pizza
Before I had TV or Cable, and whilst my parents were staying with me, I was forced to watch Rachel Ray on ABC. I can tell immediately that she deserves a beating. I had put it out of my mind, but unfortunately my attention has once again been diverted to her and her fisty show.
According to Chicagoist, Ray is having a Chicago vs. New York Style Pizza-off. The link brings you to a landing page where you can choose your alliance, then vote for your city's best pie. Of course, the best Chicago pizza place is not even listed on Ray's fruity site. Everyone knows it's My Pie (shown like "Pi" the math symbol.)
So far, I believe Chicago's pizza to be superior. Although, truth be told, I haven't visited half of the NYC restaurants Ray lists on her site. Discuss.
February 28, 2007
"I wish 'dat Mike waz more 'dan a pal." — Valerie Grabowski
There are lots of reasons to click this link.
Probably the best of which is the hope of learning from the horrible, horrible mistakes of the 80's. Like the unfortunate demise of this legendary band, Great Apes:
Daley keeps it real
Old Mayor (Richard J. Daley) Daley's widow lives down the street from my Grandma in Bridgeport. There is a squad that sits outside of her house 24hrs. a day. Widow Daley, that is... So she's covered.
Meanwhile Young (Richard M. Daley) Daley just got "relected".
People dig Daley because he's perceived as a man for the people, and as such, he takes no shit. He may run the city behind closed doors sometimes, but hey, it's Chicago.
February 05, 2007
Gross. Man.
Nice job Bears, you made the first few seconds of the Superbowl Superawesome. Rex, I thought we told you not to throw the ball, although the whole team shared the blame.
But as disappointing as the Bears loss was, at least it was an excuse to have a rager in Brooklyn.
As you can see from the cutting edge, high resolution photos I posted, it was good times! We did our best to import some Chicago cuisine, like Uno's Pizza, Vienna Beef Hotdogs (with no ketchup), Potato and Macaroni salads, and Italian beef with garlic bread. As hard as we tried, we couldn't find any Old Style, so we stole from St. Louis and stocked up on Budweiser.
Aside from the Bowl, there was illegal gambling such as a Hold 'Em cash game in the bedroom, and various sheets of Squares going around. At one point there was a shotgunning beers contest.
February 02, 2007
Phoebe Fisher Superartist
If I were you, and I lived in Chicago, I would attend this opening. Why? Because Superartist and General All-Around Swell Gal Phoebe Fisher is showing. Info noted on the flyer above.