This wine is tasty and cheap, like your mothers. Slap overby has written an appropriately cock-mouthed review here. Looks like it's available through FreshDirect for a mere Ten Schillings or so.

I've written about Kranky artist, Valet before, but now you can see her and Haze-y Portland with the video technology. Unless you own a MacbookPro and Uh-Oh Spaghetti-O's!!!

This morning we were greeted by the sight of a Mexican Man climbing around on our deck wall. Discuss.

There has been much to-do about banks recently. Indeed these are troubling times, but not if you've entrusted your fortunes to a quality bank like Commerce Bank. (By the way, commerce means: transactions having the objective of supplying commodities. So Commerce Bank could also be known as The Bank That Makes Transactions Which Have The Objective Of Supplying Commodities. Whhheeeeeee!)

I digress.

The Commerce at 14th and 5th has a Penny Arcade (illuminating press release here). Anyone can use the Penny Arcade to count your change and if you guess within $1.99 of what the end count is, you win a prize! Because I rule, I guessed $89.00 before an end count of $89.51. Elated, I went to claim my cash and prize from the teller.

And boy, I'm glad I did because look, I won this piece of shit coin bank cast in the likeness of the "C" in the Commerce Bank logo. Whhheeeeeee!

My friends and I used to be young. But now were are old. Leaves dry up, death looms near.

Apparently the bike makes the progress and the front wheel is functioning well. Unlike my tolerance of you.

The 80's were a good time for fashion. A particular hallmark of that era were the exceptionally low-altitude hair styles that were popular among women.

My friend sewed this, and although you'd think it was created for Barak Palin, it's actually not. I believe it was created to help you wake the fuck up and behave differently toward me, alleviating my intense disgust of you. If this happens, then I will not be forced to compensate for your incompetence.

...are fucking stupid and reckless. Aside from turning grass and trees brown from their salty spray, they make the Brooklyn Bridge look like it's breaking. Oh yeah, and they cost $15,000,000. In short, they suck. These snaps, however, don't.

Look!

The Dog That Sucks has gotten alot of hype. I figured some idiot would have dedicated a site to dogs that suck. Instead, I found a site that lists Fail Dogs or Dogs That Fail At Being A Dog. Close.

Were that it true. Lies upon lies.

You may remember me mentioning that The Dopest Bike In History is coming soon. Well, take a look. It cometh.