Oh Yeah, The Bachelor Party...
These were taken, somehow, at somepoint, somewhere in Las Vegas:
(More after the jump...)
August 07, 2008
July 07, 2008
Montreal
It's taken forever for me to write this, but I've been busy.
I've be meaning to head up to Montreal for years now as it's not too far from NYC. Theoretically, the drive should take about 7 hours to get up there, and is usually the most feasible option since flights hover around $350 or so. The drive from the city takes you through The Catskills and The Adirondacks, both of which are state parks, so it's nice.
(Useful shit about Montreal after the jump...)
May 09, 2008
I Am The Condom Friend Ever Useful To You.
I have said this before, The Indians are a mysterious, and wonderful peoples... See?
May 05, 2008
The Pfister Hotel
If you're headed to Milwaukee anytime soon, I'd like to wholeheartedly recommend The Pfister Hotel, aka The Pfister.
January 14, 2008
FUH + QUE Dallas (aka Hahahahaa)
What a sissy asshole... Maybe he should call fellow Texan Dr. Phil for counseling on how to suck while maintaining a facade of dignity.
December 17, 2007
Public Service Announcement...
My man sent this to me, and it's horrendous, much worse than Kimchi — South Korea's other heinous export. I feel I should warn you, and you your friends...
ADDENDUM — I've been thinking about this, and I would like someone to splice this glow-in-the-dark DNA into my nuts. This way, if I get up in the middle of the night to use the facility, I won't have to turn on the lights, nor will I miss.
December 12, 2007
Beware Xanadu...
TicketMaster was literally giving away tickets in an attempt to get people in to see The Nets flail yet again. Plus, they were playing the Clippers, whom I enjoy. So, I jumped on the 351 after work and cruised under the Hudson into Jersey. Funtimes.
Of course, the joke was on me because The Nets delivered yet another lackluster performance, a few of The Clippers' good players like Sam Cassell and Shaun Livingston were injured, four beers and a small soft pretzel cost $33, etc...
Fisty, sure, but not really shocking. At least not as shocking as this monster looming above "The Meadowlands". I guess this structure is the indoor/year-round ski slope. Look at this other wild shit that The Xanadu will offer, available sometime in The Future.
November 29, 2007
Whoa...
Like I said, whoa...
November 26, 2007
Where in the World is Condi Riceroni?
It's not very Billyburg Hip to recycle other, more competent site's posts. I know.
But consider this proping rather than recycling. Tipped hats all around to Wonkette and this dude, or girl, or pony, for keeping the 411 on everyone's favorite lesbian politician.
November 15, 2007
Holy Shit!
My day was looking pretty shitty until A Special, Secret Operative just fast tracked this to me. I like getting high and all, just like the next guy. But I ain't huffing my own piss and shit. But that's what the kids are into these days. Where? Florida, of course.
Please don't skip over the list of "Slang terms" at the bottom. Butthash? Runners? Leroy Jenkems? Hahhaaahhaaaa... Today is the best day ever now.
UCSD
So I trekked down to San Diego to check it out and visit an old friend, seen here holding a ray gun that was virtually modeled and prototyped in one multi-colored piece by some sort of machine from the future that laser lathed it from a solid plastic block. Yeah. This is why the U, S, and A is most glorious nation, and it is our God-given right to parent the globe.
All I know is that my boy has always been a smart cookie, and now finds himself as the CRCA (Center for Research in Computing & the Arts) Technical Director at The University of Califronia San Diego, or UCSD. I walked around the campus, and got a tour of his facility. UCSD is a big science and biotech school, with whole buildings dedicated to magnetism and shit. Plus, there were lots of asian students walking around. As such, I feel slightly better that we stand at least a tiny chance against China for the upcoming New Super Big Superpower Global Election.
Btw, If you know anything about what Max is, I got to meet Miller Puckette there too! I was introduced to him by my man as; "Bob from New York" to which he said, "Now there's a city." Goodtimes.
November 13, 2007
Gehry.
Do you like Frank Gehry? I bet you do you filthy swine.
Oh look, it's a basically the same thing fresh Frank Gehry structure in downtown [insert city here]. I guess this houses Walt Disney's Flying Socialist Opera or something.
There Is Hope...
It's nice to know that no matter how fucked the world is, America's west coast is connected to a beautiful and mysterious other land called California. In this part of the world, everything is perfect.
But don't take my word for it. Consult the Voice of Truth and Clarity that is The Media. Just to the left of the Jail Bait Column, this Coast News headline reads:
Perfect swell turns to surfing the ring of fire.The flat spell continued like an ancient plague, as day after day micro swells softly peaked and fell, slapping the sand or rising barely beyond waist-high for us, the surfers of North County...
So, basically the Southern California wild fires sucked because of surfing infringement. Or something. Brah.
November 07, 2007
Ears
My girl fucked her sinuses on the plane out west, and suffered ear "blockage". Her headcold and the pressurized cabin didn't play nice.
Clearly the best remedy was to buy one of the crackpot holistic ear wax candles and fire it up. Except that we were in Los Angeles, which is in California, so we tried to do it in the car in public at a post office.
November 06, 2007
LADOT is from the future.
I spent some time in beautiful downtown LA, where I had never been to before.
The Los Angeles Department of Transportation has this wicked (west coast lingo ala early 90's) building. Deeper digging reveals this dude designed it. Nice job, Thomas Mayne.
A couple more after the jump...
November 01, 2007
This Is What It's Like To Go To Heaven...
August 15, 2007
Speaking of The Terrorists...
I'm not sure if Germans should be allowed to fist about on "aeroballons", but this is how they do. Does this look like fun to you? I'll bet it does. Do you want to see a film, in which a man loves a woman from behind? I'll bet you do, you filthy swine...
June 01, 2007
Do you live in Portland?
If you do, go see Brian Foote, aka Nudge, aka DJ BJF, aka Leech, aka Leechaggregates, aka Fatass.
May 23, 2007
Those wacky Thais
Thais like to have a good time. They have funny businesses with funny signs. They make the English language work for them. They have zany names like Bam, Bowl, Kunt, and Lik. Anything that is not beer is "Whisky". Would you care for a "message" from Miss Puke? More wackiness after the jump...
May 01, 2007
Koh Tao, Thailand
After the madness that is Bangkok, we grabbed a 45 minute flight on Bangkok Airways to the airport in Koh Samui (the largest island of the chain of three, which is now extremely built-up and Euro touristy). Making haste to get the hell out of Samui, we hopped on the Lomprayah Catamaran straight to Koh Tao aka "Turtle Island".
When you stumble off the boat at the island's port of Mae Haad Bay, you are instantly accosted by cabbies ready to take you to your destination, via open-back pickup truck.
Using the power of The World Wide InterWeb, we had called ahead and made reservations at Viewpoint Resort which is on the outskirts of Chalok Baan Kao. These beautiful bungalows are located at the end of the bay, situating them well away from the fisty "dive scene" which is crucial. When you hit the beach, you have to get to the right side of the bay, then make your way down a sketchy boardwalk, through a restaurant (where you have to take your sandals off as you pass through, typical when entering anywhere indoors in Thailand) then proceed down the narrowing beach, making your way up through the jungle-ish hillside to Viewpoint. How's that for a run-on sentence?
Unsurprisingly, the family-run bungalow operation was super chill and boasted a banging restaurant. As a reference, we stayed there 4 nights, eating and drinking heavily the whole time. You pay your bill at the end which was somewhere around 8000 baht or $250 US dollars. Divide this by 3 people and that comes out to around $85 per person which definately equals GoodTimes.
Assorted photos with possible commentary after the jump...
April 30, 2007
สงกรานต์ (or "Songkran" for Stupid Roundeye)
Last year, we went to Thailand in early February. This year, we couldn't get our shit together until April, so the plans were made to be in Thailand from April 12-27.
Little did we know that:
1) April is the hottest month in Thailand, with daily temps in the upper 90's and humidity above 85-90% daily, with very little breeze. Even the Thais were sweating.
2) We were arriving and staying in Bangkok during Songkran, which is a combination of Water Festival, April Fools Day and New Year's Eve.
Basically, the whole country wilds for anywhere from 3 days to one week straight. Many Thais in Bangkok travel back to their home towns to rage it up, while considerable others flock to the big city (about 9 million people).
And it's no joke. Thais are everywhere with buckets of water, supersoakers, hoses, etc. just waiting to drench your ass. Especially tall white foreigners. Aside from water, Thais sell little white cones of baby powder-like chalk that they mix together with water in small bowls. They smear this paste on your cheeks when you stumble by. Crews of Thais ride around in the backs of pickup trucks with barrels of water doing drive-bys. Little kids hide behind cars, then suddenly bust out and chase you down for the soaking...
Continue reading "สงกรานต์ (or "Songkran" for Stupid Roundeye)" »
Thailand: How to Begin?
It's tough being back.
Aside from surprisingly severe jetlag, I've been undergoing considerable reverse culture shock. On the one hand, I was homesick for the sanity that is NYC; on the other hand it was heartbreaking to leave such a truly fascinating and beautiful country.
The next assload of entries will most likely be about Thailand, and I'll try to accompany them with cool photos of which I took over 1000.
April 28, 2007
I am home
...barely. Many, many stories to follow.
April 11, 2007
No, really, get me the fuck out of here
This thing is called a Tuk-Tuk, or "auto-rickshaw". They're all over the place in Bangkok. They have no seat-belts or doors, run off of compressed natural gas or something, and require that the drivers be unregulated, surly and insane. Discuss.
April 09, 2007
Hey, guess what? Get me the fuck out of here
It's totally time to get the fuck out of NYC. I'm done, son!
I leave this Thursday at 12pm. and arrive in Bangkok (tee-hee!) around 4pm. The same day! Somehow the journey defies time and space, converting a 17 hour direct flight into a 4 hour puddle-hop.
In celebration, I've thrown up a handful of pictures (with captions) from last years' Goodtimes.
Continue reading "Hey, guess what? Get me the fuck out of here" »
April 04, 2007
No, I am not the guy who stole Bello's wee bike
A smartass reader asked if I was the one who stole Sucko's gay wee bike, annoyingly named "Bitty Bike".
If I had, it would now be resting snuggly at the bottom of the East River.
March 23, 2007
BREAKING!!! — Yet another "meh" bar in LES
My friend's friend had a t-shirt show at this bar called Gallery Bar last night, yet another new bar that suddenly spawned in the LES.
I swear to God that a new bar opens every week down here. The bar was pretty nice, but not as nice as the free Bison Grass Vodka that was being sucked down. Gallery Bar has an open floor plan, with side benches in the front which opens to some seating in the back on the right side. Their schtick is that they are a gallery by day, and another lame-ass club lounge/bar by night. Accordingly their were a bunch of fists hanging out in there...
However, it could be a good option for all you local artists that like to do the showing and the drinking.
March 19, 2007
Sorry, The World (Happy 4 Year Anniversary!)
Obviously all the anti-war protesting we did years ago worked, as seen by this extra-sad kick-off pic from the 2004 RNC Convention Protests in NYC.
Oh wait, it didn't...
Continue reading "Sorry, The World (Happy 4 Year Anniversary!)" »
March 17, 2007
Erin Go Braugh!
Ireland is one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. Shouts out to my 2nd and 3rd Irish cousins, featured above.
More pics of Ireland after the jump...
March 07, 2007
Fuck you, Hillary
I'm not a fan of Hillary Clinton, and I will vote for Obama. I think she was sort of a cool first lady, until she became Bill's bitch.
More recently, I think it sucks that she campaigned and won the Congressional New York Elections — only to announce her run for president shortly after. New York government, state and city, is a huge job. How can you do it while constantly campaigning for a presidential election almost 2 years away? Ass.
February 07, 2007
Herr Zimmermin?
When I first got to Hamburg last fall, one of the first things I saw was a bell-bottomed hippie hitchhiking on the freeway. He was wearing a vest, and a funny hat, similar to the one shown above. I believe he even was carrying his belongings in blanket that was tied to a stick — Huck Finn style. (I can't vouch for the last part, tho...)
This was no hippie. This was Herr Zimmermin.
Perhaps German Operative Chillmost can guest blog about this fascinating culture? Pretty please?
Astronut
At first I sorta said "meh"' to this whole story, but then I got to thinking...
Lisa Nowak, you are a robotics engineer. You do not need to second guess your deadly prowess by resorting to mere plastic garbage bags and steel mallets. Pepper spray is for civilians, as is your kid's BBGun. I do, however, give you steez for wearing Depends on the cultural voyage that is Houston to Orlando, but, c'mon! If science teaches us anything, it teaches us that it's better to make killer robots do the dirty work, than do it ourselves. Like Roomba.
Am I the only one who remembers the Tom Selek and Kirstie Alley classic Runaway?
February 01, 2007
Boston vs. Terrorist Lite-Brites
Part of me thinks this is funny because, as someone who works in advertising, I can already hear heads rolling past cubicles, and/or the blinging sounds of promotion. Everyone knows that ad creatives sit around all day ripping off ideas. What they get paid for, is to adapt these ideas to whatever product is being schelped off on the masses. As such, this was hot shit last year. So was this.
You can see where this is going. If you have to pimp Aqua Teen Hunger Suck, you combine the aforelinked media together and highlight one of the show's characters in a "ownable" attempt at guerrilla marketing. And "research indicates" that it will work really well for a trife city like Boston, where there is a plethora of college kids that watch this crap.
Genius! Martini's all around! The agency pats theirselves on the back, and the client beams with pride...